Imperfect Kids, Imperfect Parents Or Are we not?
How many of us pursue this endless dream of a perfect family and fall short. We have all seen the perfect family and know what it should be - on TV ...I mean. Then we go ask ourselves - why isn't ours not that perfect?
That is the wrong question. The question to ask is "How can we get better?", "How can we build better relationships?", "How can we overcome our mistakes and build healthy environments?"
We have to break away from the idea that everything has to be perfect, our home has to be perfect and our kids needs to make top honors and the varsity and get all the accolades. It does not exist!!
The perfect family is where milk gets spilled, glasses shatter and arguments happens among siblings for silly meaningless things because in the middle of this chaos is love, safety and forgiveness. Our children need structure and boundaries that need to be reasonably enforced. In a well functioning family, everyone is still a flawed human. We need to find the balance between correcting our children and not crushing their spirits.
Rules, boundaries and standards are important part of a family but as parents, if all we do is enforce rules then it kills the joy of family time. Rules needs to be implemented with love, laughter and affection.
The best asset a family can have is family time. As the kids grow older, this becomes quite a challenge. Family meals whenever possible are the best things to keep close to your kids. How do you get to know your child's weakness and strengths, if you don't spend enough time with them?
Our responsibility as parents is to get our kids ready for adulthood and get them prepared for the challenges that life offers. Jim Daly, the President of the Focus on family once said "Families are like the garden. They can be dirty places filled with weeds and bugs, too much water or sun. They require patience and often willingness to work in the mud. underneath the earth, a miracle grows. You can't make a seed sprout. You can't force it to flower. Your job is to help the miracle along".
"Do not tell them how to do it. Show them how to do it and do not say a word. If you tell them, they will watch your lips move. If you show them, they will want to do it themselves."
- Maria Montessori
Focus on the family (n.d.) retrieved from http://www.focuson the family.com/7traitshttp://www.focusonthefamily.com/promos/seven-traits